Friday Goulash: 11-20-09

The Onion strikes again…no, wait! This isn’t The Onion!

Once upon the 1980’s, a divorced working mother in the midwest performed the same ritual every Friday: she would collect all the dinner leftovers of the week and toss them in a pot with some elbow macaroni, Clamato, and a mysterious thickening agent.  She would refer to this concoction as  “Goulash.” “Friday Goulash” is a tribute to this woman and her smelly potful of weariness. It’s in her spirit that I serve up a week’s worth of tidbits slow-cooked to dry-yet-strangely-sticky perfection.  It goes great with Kool-Aid!

In The “News”:

  • The New Oxford American Dictionary has named “unfriend” the word of the year.   I love the descriptivist linguistic philosophy demonstrated by NOAD.  At its best, the approach has real cultural and sociological importance as it captures our values within the words we actually speak.  At its worst, it comes across as a geeky hipster wannabe that runs with the wrong crowd.  The crowning of “unfriend” as word of the year indicates NOAD has been sucking up to the Mean Girls and not taking the hint.  At all.  Sad.
  • Word has it that Oprah will pull the plug on her talk show in 2011.  It’s not even 2010 yet, so we still have plenty of time to not give a shit.
  • For the first time in my life, (and hopefully, the last) I agree with Sarah Palin.  Her depiction on this week’s cover of Newsweek is off-base (it was taken from a photo spread for a fitness magazine, of all things), it’s sexist (duh), and plays right into Palin’s crybaby claims of media persecution.  The point that Newsweek wanted to make regarding Palin as a shameless publicity ho/bimbo is a stale one and not worth the credibility hit it took as a result of this sophomoric editorial choice.  No doubt about it: Sarah Palin is a joke, but that joke is best told by Tina Fey, not Newsweek.

On the Net:

  •  I’ve come to consider myself not an observer of the Twilight craze as much as a horrified bystander.  The relentless media blitz surrounding the latest Twilight flick has left me dazed, confused, and troubled by the realization that Kristen Stewart is actually kinda hot in a Priscilla Presley kind of way.  It also dawned on me that the story’s romantic premise actually bears an undeniable resemblance to the Priscilla and Elvis love story: teenaged brat catches the eye of a much older, very obsessive, and decidedly creepy guy and then embarks on a slow-burning waiting game of a courtship.   I read the first book in the Twilight series on a dare; it reads like Elvis and Me only without the literary redemption provided by the mention of guns or kung-fu.

Separated at death?

In my life:

  • RIP, iPod earbuds.  Your job was a thankless and an oily one.  For three years you were the musical I.V. that faithfully and reliably delivered the punk, the funk, the jazz and the Nazz directly to my brain.  The blandest environments (waiting rooms, cubicles) were bestowed drama, poignancy, poetry, and comedy thanks to the private soundtrack you provided.  You fit my ears perfectly: you nestled snugly against my acoustic meatus and demonstrated a gentlemanly respect of  boundaries, which is more than I can say for the iPenetrators I bought to take your place.

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7 Responses to “Friday Goulash: 11-20-09”

  1. Kelly Says:

    HAR! @ guns and kung-fu. As a teacher of many teenage girls, I am in the eye of this Twilight storm (“OMG you guys I totally saw Twilight last night and I am like soooooo tired!! But it was awesome! It was SO. AWESOME.”). As I said today in the teachers’ lounge, this is where youth culture and I officially part ways.

  2. Lars Says:

    Okay, I’ll admit that I did enjoy seeing Sarah Palin looking like a bimbo on the cover of Newsweek, but YOU have totally opened my eyes regarding Newsweek’s editorial choices. Agreed, agreed, agreed, BUT still… as a photo for a runner’s magazine it’s still pretty hotsy-totsy for someone who aspires to high political office AND what kind of serious runner wears pantyhose with running shoes? Even as a photo for Runner’s World, it’s still pretty bimbo-riffic.

    • hellraisin Says:

      True: pantyhose and running shoes do not a serious political candidate make, but trotting the photo out on the cover as if it were key evidence in a startling expose just makes Newsweek look dumber than she is. Now, if it were FDR posing in a bimbo tracksuit, then we’d have a worthy cover boy.

  3. Ronald Dodge Says:

    …good stuff but ya know there are SOME details of our personal existance that should never ever see the light of another bleary day BUT i do applaud you the integrity, albeit misguided, it took for you to fess up and come to grips with your otherwise comedic trip thru Twilight. You are a far greater soul than I in this confession.

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