Friday Goulash (Sunday Edition) 10-10-10

Simply overcome.

Once upon the 1980’s, a divorced working mother in the midwest performed the same ritual every Friday: she would collect all the dinner leftovers of the week and toss them in a pot with some elbow macaroni, Clamato, and a mysterious thickening agent.  She would refer to this concoction as  “Goulash.” “Friday Goulash” is a tribute to this woman and her potful of weariness. It’s in her spirit that I serve up a week’s worth of tidbits slow-cooked to dry-yet-strangely-sticky perfection.  In the words of  oatmeal militant Wilford Brimley: “It’s the right thing to do, tasty way to do it!”
In The “News”
  • Stan Lee has announced his plans to create superheroes for both MTV and the National Hockey League.  Is this a visionary move on Lee’s part, on par with the X-Men and Spider Man movie franchises?  Or is it unmitigated greed, (also on par with the X-Men and Spider Man movie franchises)?  Senility coupled with horrifying hubris?   I don’t know, but the idea of superheroes for sale really excites me!  Maybe someday I can hire Lee like the geriatric hustler he is and he can create a large-breasted, self-righteous, angst-ridden Gaytheist superhero for me!  Or perhaps he’ll partner with Crest to take on the back-and-badder-than-ever Cavity Creeps!  Or, (dare I dream it?) will he join forces with Summer’s Eve and Tampax to fight that not-so-fresh feeling, Marvel-style?  I don’t know, I don’t know!  The possibilities are far too dazzling.  Excelsior!

In My Life

  • Scarecrow Fest has returned to Charlemagne Oaks!   This inexplicable celebration of  commingled  straw and burlap is a veritable institution around here, so I considered it my civic duty to check out this year’s contestants.   What I found changed my life forever.  Until I encountered the Twilight scarecrow tribute (see above photo), I was just another non believer, an anonymous minion in the scoffing mob assembled at the foot of the mighty saga of Bella and Edward.  It wasn’t until I witnessed their timeless romance dressed up in Goodwill finery, sculpted with ghastly paper masks, and stuffed with straw did I finally “get it”.  I was so moved by this revelation, I fell to the ground and urged Kate to capture the raggedy magic of this moment with my camera phone.  I realize that the look on my face is reminiscent of the one I sported when I triumphed over a turkey leg at the Renaissance Faire.  I am a woman of about 4 facial expressions, it’s true, but believe me, at that moment, I was simply overcome.  Truly: Straw and burlap is love’s purest media.   Exhibit B:

The unique positioning of the word balloons lends this tableau a peppery ribaldry that only the most hardened cynic could resist.  Who could deny the charm of this marriage proposal, straight from the crotch, as it were?  Wedding balls are ringing!

On the Net

  • I don’t watch Mad Men, but I did take up AMC’s invitation to Mad Men Yourself and cast myself as an aging hipster extra.  I’m guessing they don’t have aging transgender hipsters on the show?  Such a pity.  There’s nothing like a menopausal man with a goatee and a fruity drink to shake things up, I always say.

    Portrait of the Gaytheist as a Handsome Ol’ Hepcat

 Jam of the Week

  • Al Green and the Bee Gees: two great tastes that go great together! 

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4 Responses to “Friday Goulash (Sunday Edition) 10-10-10”

  1. Kelly Says:

    You cracked me the hell up with the lead photo and the “peppery ribaldry” scarecrows. I salute your brilliance as always.

  2. MrsMeat Says:

    What the fuck is up with that mangy half-straw half-pubic hair thing behind those well-creepy mannequins. Twilight romance my arse – thats some twisted Freddy Kruger LSD inspired shit.

    • Hellraisin Says:

      I believe that’s supposed to be the wolf-boy rival for Bella’s affections. Because what’s more romantic than chosing between a dead body and a dog?

  3. Nothin’ But Killahs | The Gaytheist Gospel Hour Says:

    […] the entrance of our campsite. The plan was to enjoy life away from St. Churles, where the wearisome Scarecrow Fest had taken over, bringing with it gawking crowds, traffic, and untold BS to our home turf, which was […]

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