Archive for the ‘equality’ Category

One Teenager in Ten

November 6, 2010


“In this life, things are much harder than in the afterworld/ In this life, you’re on your own!”—Prince

High school is a laugh riot.  It’s a jolly funhouse where the unpopular and the unusual are punished for their crimes against conformity with a topsy-turvy ridicule.  Here, overweight boys have “due dates”, homely girls are proposed marriage by homecoming kings, underwear waistbands are wedgied into easy carrying handles for Special Ed students, and exchange students, (regardless of country of origin) are addressed in mock Chinese.  In this swarming mosh pit of ha!rassment, powered by sweaty insecurity and raw, smelly fear,  homophobia stands as the indisputable height of hilarity.  At least that’s how I remember it.

“Gay” was the Golden God of Comedy at my Iowa high school back in 1985.  (more…)

Friday Goulash (Sunday Edition) 03-21-10

March 21, 2010

“There are no words…none.” –Hedwig Robinson.

Once upon the 1980’s, a divorced working mother in the midwest performed the same ritual every Friday: she would collect all the dinner leftovers of the week and toss them in a pot with some elbow macaroni, Clamato, and a mysterious thickening agent.  She would refer to this concoction as  “Goulash.” “Friday Goulash” is a tribute to this woman and her potful of weariness. It’s in her spirit that I serve up a week’s worth of tidbits slow-cooked to dry-yet-strangely-sticky perfection.  It goes great with Kool-Aid! (more…)

The D.C. Irony

March 3, 2010

Is it wrong to not get excited that Washington D.C. has legalized Gay Marriage?  After all, it’s only one, 68-mile square of swampland, home for 591,833 people: small potatoes from a war room standpoint.  Heck, many of the people who stood in line today to receive their newly-minted D.C. marriage licenses don’t even live in D.C., which should give some indication as to what a truly underwhelming impact the vote will have on the people who call it home.   In essence, this law mostly gives the go-ahead to a tiny group of gay government employees to take advantage of a pathetic handful of benefits not already outlawed by the Defense of Marriage Act.

The truth is, I’m significantly less than excited about D.C.  In fact, something about it bothers me.  (more…)

A Modest Gay Marriage Proposal

November 8, 2009

Gobble, gobble!

Gay marriage was defeated by popular vote in Maine this week, delivering the cause a stunning roundhouse punch right in the Guccis.   I, for one, have spent this week marinating in a dark concoction of vinegary frustration and venomous fury to the point that if I were to be tossed onto a grill and parcelled out on paper plates, I have enough taint to inflict at least 20 serious tummy aches at a church picnic.  (more…)