Gaytheist Christmas Card 2013

Meme-ish smartassery courtesy of our family’s answer to Banksy: Auntie.

The glow emanating from this, the Gaytheist Christmas Card 2013, is golden– a butterscotch, if you will.  Like butterscotch, its sweetness is undermined by its stickiness.  It’s the kind of stickiness you encounter when handling a “live” Christmas tree: the sap is snarlingly soap resistant, rendering  you a laughable Edward Stickerhands. 

Take heart, my sticky babies– at least you don’t smell like you have a Pine-Sol problem!  Your problem can be solved by a small child– a child who personifies the salvation of this hectic, overextended, and overwrought season, a child who redeemed us all  by casually handing Santa’s candy cane and his “be a good little girl” jive back to him–in several small, symbolically potent pieces.  In the spirit of this holiday miracle, the Gaytheist Gospel Hour wishes you and yours a very merry Up Yours, Christmas!

Gaytheist Xmas Album 2010!

I like to pretend that song “It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year” was written as the sarcastic suicide note of some poor Seasonal Affective Disordered smartass who just couldn’t take it anymore. 

Giftmas (TM) 2009 Shopping Guide!

My copy of the Harriet Carter catalogue arrived this weekend, ushering in the auspicious Giftmas (TM) 2009 season!  Sure, it may seem a little early to start preparing for that beloved annual non-denominational, consumer-driven, mass-craze-behavior frenzy tradition, but I march to the beat of a different drummer.  Harriet Carter is her name.